If we want to create a different future, we must have the courage to look at the past. - Dan Allender
Most of us live on autopilot, and we don't even know it.
Your birth story, your first word, first step, your brothers/sisters, teachers, parents, coaches, and friends all play a role in your development. They help tell the story of who you are today.
Did you know that your story started before you were even born?
Neurobiologist Allan Schore's research shows babies as early as 6 months in utero are forming their sense of self and can experience both joy and stress of their mothers.
In 1958, ground breaking work from John Bowlby, British psychologist/psychiatrist, showed the development of attachment and the impact on children throughout various life stages.
Attachment Theory, as it is often called today, describes the relationship between children and their primary caregivers, which ultimately impacts every relationship a person will have in their lives. These attachments are formed before some of our earliest memories - before we turn the age of 3!
Each person also has basic physical, emotional, and spiritual needs apart of their story. Through the work of Pia Mellody, renowned author and counselor, children often develop out of 5 core self skills:
As we age, these core needs impact our relationships during our developmental years (4-10) and into our adolescent years (10-22).
Combining our attachments and our development of the 5 self skills listed above, we navigate our lives and relationships in ways that are often impacted on a daily basis, yet we struggle to know how or why.
The goal of Rediscover Counseling is to help you understand your story. Some of us grew up in families where wounds, traumas, or years of neglect have created patterns of disappointment, issues in trusting others, and failed relationship. Others believe they grew up in a "normal" household, where family was highly involved and supportive, leading to a "normal life", but in the end, you struggle to find your rhythm in life.
Through the exploration of your story, your family of origin, understanding how those experiences shape you today are important in building new ways of experiencing life.